I am so sorry for not keeping this blog up (thank you Elizabeth for guilting me, isn't it nice to nag me for a change!). I have no excuse for not writing about the final day of the journey nor the beginning of the next. So please accept my apologies.
That final day driving to the hospital was so surreal. I kept thinking "is this it, is this really the last time I will be treated for cancer and will these last zaps of radiation be the ones that kill Voldemort and company. Lots of thoughts, lots of emotions. But at least I knew going into this last treatment that my brain would be protected! You see, Robert presented me this morning with an aluminum foil hat that I needed to wear to ensure that my lovely radiation technicians did not take their final retaliation on me and fry my brain. So picture this ... me walking into the hospital with this large aluminum foil hat on, cupcakes in hand, their gifts in cute little bags and a big shit ass grin on. Definitely an entrance.
The girls just shook their heads and laughed. But they got even! As I walked into the radiation room, there on the machine was this cute little box all tied up in ribbons ... they got me a present! I opened this carefully wrapped box and there on a bed of tissue paper was a 1" x 1" section of that wonderful cool wrap that they would put on my chest every other day to disperse the radiation. Not sure if I talked about this before, but this "bolus" as they called it, was so cool to the touch it always felt soooooo good on, that I use to try and sneak it out of the room .. unfortunately, they always caught me ... guess I didn't have a chance since the room is video monitored! Well opening this box made me laugh so much that I started to cry, I then lost it completely when I layed down on the table and there above me on the top of the machine was a sign congratulating me on my final treatment. These are definitely amazing women. But the "got-chas" didn't stop there, earlier that morning as I was getting dressed, Robert and I decided to "make our mark on history", so as my doctors were prone to writing on the right breast with blue sharpies (mapping points, drawing areas to treat, etc.) We decided to make our own mark. Robert took a black sharpie and on the left breast wrote "Thanks for the Mammories" (haha ... get it ... mammories ... ok so we are warped). So as I was laying down on the table, and my gown was lowered, the girls were able to see our own little message. This is where they lost it! We all definitelty had a good laugh over that one! They zapped me and then we hugged and all cried (their's were probably tears of "thank god, we can get back to normal now .. the wacko won't be coming back). But seriously, it was a tearful farewell (though I won't actually be gone as I still have to see the radiation oncologist every now and then and they are only down the hall ... actually I saw them again 3 weeks later when I went back for my follow-up appointment, but that's jumping into the future.
As for the evening celebration, we decided to hold off on the champagne until after we got back from sushi ... which was delicious and yes did also include saki. On the way back we decided to really live it up and stopped at the store and bought some caviar to go with the champagne. Life is good. Sitting on the floor, drinking champagne, eating caviar and watching Keith Oberman ... does it get any better!
There were several toasts that night .. to the death of Voldemort and company, to each other, to how lucky we are, to our amazing family and friends who supported us through this journey and finally to the start of our new journey. As you all know, religion and I don't exactly see eye-to-eye and I am about as far left as you can be on the religious scale, but we do consider ourselves blessed.
Now ... What have I learned on this journey ...
o That it is very difficult to shave your underarms when you can't feel them (due to the numbness)
o You can drink and undergo radiation at the same time (we laughed allot when people would ask if "I could drink" (your right Elizabeth ... I guess I do talk allot about alcohol)
o To always bring my "boobs in a bag" whenever I go shopping cause trying on tops without boobs just loses something in the translation.
o That if ever I lose my job, I could entertain at parties doing my "boob" trick ... flexing muscles that just look soooo funny with skin, muscles, scars and nipples all going in different directions at the same time.... where's Ed Sullivan when you need him! Such a talent!
o That I am so lucky to have so many who truly care for me (guess I'm not such a bitch after all ... no comments from the peanut gallery Jason!)
o To appreciate each and every day as you aren't guaranteed a tomorrow.
o To surround yourself with people you love and be sure to tell them each and every day just how much you love them.
o That I have the most amazing family. Robert, Jason and Elizabeth .. THANK YOU, I could not have dealt with all of this and stayed so positive without you at my side. I love you all so very much. I know it wasn't a journey we wanted to take, but we came out of it stronger and happier.
As Tiny Tim would say ... God Bless Us Everyone!
Friday, October 16, 2009
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