Lost in the fog...

Have you ever had a nightmare where you were wandering through a giant maze on a moonless, foggy night searching for the exit? Then you see a small spec of light and believe that you are finally heading in the right direction and will eventually get out. But you never get out because as you stop to gain strength before heading for that spec of light, all the walls of the maze move until you are totally lost again. Well, that is what Kathie and I are going through right now, we thought that we had our direction mapped out when we got the preliminary report of her pathology, only to find out that the direction we chose is blocked and we have to go back to square one and start all over.
Let me try to explain, last week Kathi got the news that her lymph nodes were clear and that she would not need radiation and probably not even chemo (Halleluiah). Yesterday we received news from her full pathology report that indicates that there were numerous tumors (not just the two we thought there were)and that some of the little buggers may have slipped out.
Unfortunately, the largest tumor was resting right on the muscle and because of that it now indicates that she will need radiation to be sure that all the little buggers are gone. Well, that alone would not be Sooooo terrible, but because of the need for radiation she has to put off reconstruction, which was schedule for the middle of July. Then we learned that the plastic surgeon will not be able to do reconstruction until at least SIX Months AFTER the radiation treatment.
Wait it gets better still, the plastic surgeon is now suggesting that because of the radiation he does not want to use implants but instead wants to take tissue and fat from her stomach area to do the reconstruction. Now I was willing to allot them to take her breasts to get rid of the cancer, but now they are asking too much. After all that is the stomach that I get to blow on when I finish bathing her, and I do not want it marred by a huge scar. I realize that I am being selfish but a guy has to draw the line somewhere. After all, the reason to take the tissue from her stomach is so that her "new" breast will be more natural, whereas if she has implants she may have one "normal" breast and one that may be hard (due to radiation). So, Kathie has a lot of ciphering to do about which way to go. As for me, I think having two halves of a coconut would work just fine.
So, all of the walls have moved an we have no idea where we are in the maze or where the exit is now. On Monday we get to have our consult with the Medical Oncologist, who I am expecting will add more roadblocks to our finding the exit. We have no idea what wonderful thoughts he may bring to the table, but even if he wants Kathie to have chemo (my bet), she will not be able to start that process till afer radiation. I suspect he will recommend chemo because Kathie's positive result on the HER2 hormone, which makes her more likely to redevelop cancer.
The good news is that Kathie had one of her drains replaced yesterday. I know that really doesn't sound like good news until you realize that means that I get to bather her again. And we all know that means that I get to blow on her belly to make her laugh when she is finished with her bath. See, you really can find some positive elements to laugh about in the midst of being lost in a giant maze...
Best Wishes from your ever so humble, Mr. Bloggoo